How to get a girl's attention from the first message
When you need to come up with a style of communication on a dating site that will make her want to continue communicating, you shouldn’t reinvent the wheel. All methods have already been invented and tested. The best option is an opener.
This is the name given to the first phrases at the beginning of communication, the purpose of which is to impress the person. They are based on attracting a woman’s attention, appealing to instincts and emotions.
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Provocative message
With the help of provocation, you can force anyone to respond to a message, especially a girl. On various dating sites, provocation is a catalyst for starting communication. The main thing is to refrain from vulgarity and outright rudeness. Here is an example of a good intriguing message:
- “Can I ask you an immodest question of an intimate nature?” The girl will tense up, but this will draw attention to the person who wrote it.
- "Where do you work? Not among photographers, designers or artists? This will surprise and relax the young lady. She will ask whether the question is intimate or immodest.
- “Like what? This is personal information. And the personal is the area of the intimate.” The guy will provoke initial emotions and reactions, and the lady will consider him “not like the others.”
In this case, provocation has nothing to do with incitement, since it does not have aggression directed at the partner. Here it is stimulation, motivation, play, but not conflict.
Create suspense
When looking for a suitable message to meet a girl on the appropriate site, you should try to create intrigue: “Hello. And I know something about you. Something that no one else knows about...” After such words, she cannot resist and asks what the young man means . You can also use the following templates in the first message:
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- “Who do I see online! What are you doing here?".
- “You’ll never guess what I liked about you. These two qualities are incompatible. Most guys don't like them, but I like them."
Women have a natural tendency to be curious, so they won't rest until they know all the answers. It is important to remember to take pauses between writing messages.
Give a compliment
Everyone likes flattery. When a guy doesn’t know what to write to a young lady, a compliment is the way out of the situation. The main thing is not to write banal things. Proper flattery is a piece of jewelry. For example:
- “Your style is perfect” instead of just “You are beautiful.”
- "Hello! You know, I’m one of those annoying guys who think you’re incredibly beautiful!”
- “How many men have gone crazy because of your beautiful look with a slight drag?” instead of "I'm drowning in your eyes."
- “Your parents should be given the Nobel Prize. Or what is due to the people who created a world masterpiece?
Important advice: when composing a compliment, you should carefully study the girl’s profile. By paying attention to details and little things, you can prove yourself well: “You have beautiful, neat wrists. Did you know that this is a sign of aristocracy?”, “Unusual dress. Is this shabby chic? Your taste is enviable." Having learned to generate personal compliments for each lady, a man will conquer more than one young lady.
Directive style
Pick-up artists call their dominant style of communication direct. With its help you can attract almost any woman. It works flawlessly when meeting beautiful young ladies who are in search of a “real man.” With the help of dominance, they mask inexperience in communicating with the opposite sex, as well as fear and the presence of complexes. Using a directive style, you can enter the image of a confident and strong man, a fearless male:
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- "Beautiful lady! I liked you. Write the phone number. See you in appropriate surroundings."
- “Hello, oh unforgettable one. We have a date tomorrow. What time will you be free?”
But before writing in this style, you should make sure that the photo in the profile matches the chosen image.
Filling out your profile
It’s not enough to just register your page. It is necessary that she breathes trust and that the girl who approaches her has a desire to meet you.
Photo
Cats, cars and other crap will not inspire true trust in a girl.
You can save all this in your albums, publish it on your wall, but your profile photo should have exactly your photo (your avatar should also be carefully selected: blurry pictures will not work, or where you are in the sweat of your brow and with dirt during any work, anywhere).
Reference! Post photos of what you like and what is interesting. Create collections.
This will be easier to understand, and the girl will be able to easily figure out your tastes and will be incredibly happy when she notices that you and her have common interests.
basic information
The creators of social networks and dating sites have done almost all the work for you, carefully considering each section and point of the questionnaire. Well, all you have to do is fill out all the fields with information about yourself.
If you are serious about dating, then your profile should be appropriate. Everything should be filled out informatively, briefly, and most importantly, honestly.
Family status
The best option is “not married ,” since girls, on a psychological level, believe that a guy with “actively searching” is not serious and is even a little childish.
"Life of the Page"
Don’t forget to publish something regularly and post new photos. This will kindle the girl’s interest and trust in you.
What to write about yourself on a dating site is explained in the video:
Building a dialogue after the girl’s answer
If the girl responded to the message, then the guy did everything right. But he can safely be called a “chatterologist” if he did not get the young lady’s phone number at the very beginning of the conversation.
While the lady is giving the young man her full attention, he should get her number and invite her on a date. For example, horse riding is suitable. Options such as cafes, cinemas and restaurants are not suitable. There is no opportunity to communicate at the cinema, and it is too early for a couple to visit secluded places for privacy and kisses. In addition, the restaurant can be expensive; it is not known what dishes the lady prefers. You need to seize the moment, don’t forget about the friend zone, which is difficult to get out of.
Mistakes that ruin communication
Not every guy can find the right phrases for the first message. Most likely, trying to compose the text of a letter to an unfamiliar young lady so that it makes her smile and interest will require time and frequent training. Initially, you need to try to avoid mistakes. Of course, if a guy has the beauty of Brad Pitt or immense charisma, then even in response to a ridiculous message he will receive an emoticon with a smile. But such a combination is rare, so it’s not worth the risk.
Hackneyed phrases
Before you write to the girl in the first message “Hello. How are you?”, remember the female style of photographing, called “duckface”. So, the phrase “hi-how-are-you” irritates young ladies just as much as it irritates guys with “ducky lips.” It’s better to ask the girl about something else in correspondence. The first letter should be unusual. Cliches and hackneyed phrases have no place here. When using them, 9 out of 10 girls will simply ignore the message. Filtering ideas is simple: don’t write the first thing that comes to mind.
Beard jokes
You can interest a lady with a story or a joke. Women love guys with a sense of humor. But at the same time, it is important to come up with something fresh, and not use jokes that were told back in Soviet times. Not only will they not cause the desired reaction, but they will also repel the young lady. She will consider the man boring, uninteresting and completely devoid of imagination.
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Topics about sex
Sexually suggestive phrases should not be used. Moreover, these include not only letters like: “I would like to look at you up close,” but also various words of admiration for the lady’s figure, even if her profile contains a photo in a swimsuit.
If a guy uses direct style, sex is also taboo. On the Internet, it seems that everything is allowed. But it is not always the case. “Baby, you're sexy. I want to get to know you better” - such a tackle will lead to her sending the guy on a luxurious but distant tour. Although there are exceptions. Yesenin also wrote: “Always and at all times, good, kind girls went crazy from hooligans.” Psychologists also say that young ladies like aggressive, vulgar and rude men.
Here it is important not to go too far and stop in time, especially if the young man sees that such a manner of communication does not arouse enthusiasm in the lady.
Boasting
Sending a letter claiming to have an IQ above 150 is not a good idea, nor is simply bragging about your achievements. She definitely won’t sing serenades of praise or fall into an intellectual swoon. When you see a tattoo on her shoulder, you don’t need to tell the girl about the chemical components of the ink. It’s better to write that the young man also wants to get a tattoo. Ask what designs women prefer and where it is best to get them done (arm, back). Ask the master for advice.
Illiterate messages
Before sending a message, you need to re-read it again and correct any mistakes. In this case, it is necessary to pay attention to the placement of commas. There are now many online services that allow you to check what you have written. If the message turns out to be long, then they will come in handy.
It is unlikely that a girl will find fault with the presence of minor errors in the letter. But if it is clear that the guy is not friendly with the Russian language and its rules, then this will scare her away.
Deception
A fake profile or page with a cat in the avatar is unlikely to be suitable for dating. No girl will date a guy who doesn’t have his profile photos and whose friends include a clothing store and a psychiatric hospital. In addition, if a young man really wants to meet a lady and continue communication with her in the future, then he should not lie about his age, work, or hobbies. You can’t hide an awl in a bag; sooner or later the truth will come out. Then he will have to explain himself for a long time.
A pity
The desire to press pity in order to attract the attention of a lady is one of the common mistakes of guys. There is no need to talk about how his girlfriend left him and he feels bad. Yes, the young lady will take pity on him. But this is where the communication will most likely end. Besides the fact that women don’t like to watch guys who throw dirt at their exes, it’s worth remembering one more life axiom.
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A man who arouses pity in a woman will not become a contender for the role of her companion.
Aggression or obsession
It seems that these are basic things, but many men forget about them. Often the first messages are full of various “che” or obscene language. When a lady does not respond to a message or simply refuses to communicate (even if this is done indelicately), you should not stoop to insults or intrusive attempts to change her decision. Even if he never meets this girl in person, he should maintain his dignity and not be rude.
Information or photo on the guy's page
Before writing to a woman, it is important to critically examine your page on the site. It must inspire confidence and be interesting, so it is necessary:
- Upload real photos. At the same time, take a few pictures of nature or excursions.
- Completely fill out information about yourself, indicate your hobbies, favorite music and movies.
- Get rid of compromising photos, videos and erotic groups.
Correspondence options
It is best when all options for compliments and tackles are formed individually for each girl. But to get started, you can use the following examples:
- “Have you read the Constitution? It says there that depriving a person of the right to happiness is punishable by law.”
- “It was today that I realized why I needed to register on this site.”
- “Among the photographs I found pictures of Rome. Do you love him as much as I do?
- “I lost the bet and as payment I have to take the most beautiful woman on the site on a date.”
- “I don’t think I’ll be the first one trying to get to know you. But I'm better than the rest. Will you check?"
It is also worth remembering the options that it is better not to write to a girl when meeting her:
- “You look great. Would you like to meet?
- “Let’s get acquainted and meet.”
- "Hello. And you're beautiful. Let's get acquainted?".
- “If I interest you, write!”
There is a chance for further communication
You need to be prepared for the girl’s various objections and not give up. The main purpose of the first letter is a personal meeting, since in this situation communication for the sake of communication does not make any sense. When at first she doesn't agree to a date, but continues to correspond, you just need to give her time. In 2-3 days she will agree to meet. She just needs to get to know the guy better.
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This definitely won't work
There are certain messages that you should not write to a girl, as they will push her away and kill her desire to start dating. Examples:
- "I'd like to see you up close."
- "Hello! How are you doing?".
- “Would you like to take a ride in the Hummer?”
- “You know, I liked you. True, I myself don’t understand why.”
- “You remind me of my ex-girlfriend. Only more beautiful!
- “I think that in terms of status we are not suitable for each other. But I’ll take the risk of meeting you..."
- “In sex, I prefer the 69 position from the Kama Sutra. What kind of person are you?”
- “Girl, can you tell me how best to spend 10 thousand dollars?”
- “I’m coming to you based on an advertisement. Are you giving out a phone number for free?”
- “Mademoiselle, does your mother need a son-in-law?”
- “You are terribly beautiful. I’m afraid to meet people.”
Original messages
To attract a girl's attention, you need to be original. Everyone will appreciate the non-standard approach and unusual sense of humor. Examples of successful messages for correspondence on dating services:
- “What are you doing this evening after our meeting?”
- “Do you think I like you more than you like yourself?”
- “Hi, please tell me how to cook dumplings correctly?”
- “Your nose is so joyful!”
- “You don’t know how to make birch jam?”
- "Hello! Today is such a good day. Do you mind if I cheer you up?"
- “Do you want to meet a cute guy? And here I am!”
- “Your eyes are so beautiful, what color are they?”
- “Let’s bet you can’t guess your name.”
- "Hello! I am a seller of happy moments. But I’ll give it to you for free!”
- “I look at the photo and understand that I simply have to meet you!”
- “I fell in love with the appearance so much that I forgot about the acquaintance. Hello!".
- “How did you realize that I was on the site?”
- “You know, before I met you, I was confident in my gay orientation!”
- “Do you remember how you dreamed about me?”
- "Can you help me? I want to learn how to communicate with women!”
- “Do you think I want to meet you? But no! I want to invite you on a date!”
It’s not difficult to meet a beautiful girl on social networks or on dating sites. The main thing is to adhere to the primary rules and not be afraid of pitfalls. Avoid platitudes, then it is quite possible that ordinary correspondence will turn into a long-term passionate relationship.
Where to begin?
The first correspondence is very important - it is for the first few minutes that a person forms an impression about his interlocutor:
- By approximately 30%, your ability to choose beautiful words will determine whether she will answer or not.
- The remaining 70% will depend on your application form.
Therefore, you should not be lazy in filling out the form as completely as possible, choosing and uploading good photographs.
Next, you should select the “right” girl by screening: fake pages - go away, there are no common interests - further, you don’t like her appearance - “put aside” her person for a while.
Found the right girl? But now is the time to decide what to write to the lady in the first message, in order to ignite the fire of love or at least curiosity in her heart from the very beginning of communication.
The first message should contain answers to the following possible questions from the girl:
- Who you are?
- How did you find her?
- What is the purpose of dating?
Important! Do not forget about politeness and say hello, avoiding familiar and vulgar phrases.
It is worth studying in detail the girl’s hobbies, preferences, and what she is proud of. This will help you better understand what you can talk to her about next, or it will give you the idea that you shouldn’t start communicating with the girl.
By the way, don’t forget that the desire to communicate is a wonderful excuse for the first message.
How to interest a girl from the first phrase is explained in the video:
Examples and phrases
Now let's look at a few phrases as examples:
- Hello! I saw your page in my feed and I really liked you. How are you?
A classic of the genre , but also effective.
- Hi, Olya! My name is Vadim. I accidentally came across your page and wanted to get to know you. The smile on the avatar is too charming.
Compliment, this is brilliant! What girl doesn’t like it when people say nice things in her direction!
- Hello, Sveta! I was looking for news posts using the hashtag Baikal, and accidentally came across your page. I saw that we are both from the same city, and that you went there this summer. Would it take me a lot of time to ask a few questions about the trip? By the way, I forgot to introduce myself - my name is Grisha.
There is nothing better than a shared passion for something , like travel!
- Hi dear! We'll meet tomorrow! What time are you free?
One example of a so-called directive message.
Pros : minimal waste of time, efficiency. Disadvantages - the girl may not agree to meet immediately, in this case you should not put pressure on the girl, but offer online communication first.
- Hello! I know something about you! What are you like? I didn’t even believe it at first! I liked that you combine 2 qualities that are basically incompatible; many men don’t like them, but I consider this even a “+” for a girl.
The good thing about an intriguing message is that modern young ladies are curious creatures and will immediately want to find out what exactly you know about them. But a smart young man will not reveal all his cards right away!
Examples of the first phrases when meeting a girl are shown in the video:
Basic rules for communication on dating sites and VKontakte
Main thesis areas regarding first communication with girls:
- Be arrogant and confident, but in a good way, young man.
- You should never communicate with a girl, placing her in the dialogue from below; the dialogue should take place, at a minimum, on equal terms.
- Come up with more non-standard situations and intrigues in your communication, throw out all the cliched phrases.
- Don’t drag yourself into long correspondence, pick up the phone and start calling.
Reference! The girl will definitely be suspicious of you initially.
You should not be afraid of this and abruptly interrupt communication. On the contrary, you should try to predispose the girl to you and show that you are not a murderous maniac by offering to meet her, for example, during the day in a crowded place.
Don’t forget about the constant errors, due to which communication, alas, will not go beyond the starting point:
- Banal and cliched phrases. Are you really interested in long-term communication with this girl? Then forget about templates! It's boring, and interest fades in a matter of seconds.
- Illiteracy. Not that girls like too smart, but a correctly placed comma will help you understand the essence of the message without distortion, and a correctly written word will create a good impression. Therefore, check your messages carefully before sending.
- Profanity. Swearing and swearing will first of all cause the girl’s hostility and disgust.
- Obsessiveness . You shouldn’t constantly remind a girl of your presence with the phrases “where are you?” , “why didn’t you answer for so long?”, “What took so long?”, if the girl stopped answering/reading messages, it’s best to stop communicating.
- About sex. At the beginning of communication there should not be a word about your physiological and intimate needs. The girl will find it too rude.
- Lots of terms and fancy buzzwords. You shouldn’t overwhelm a girl with a lot of definitions and complex terminology. If you are a child prodigy, this does not mean that everyone around you is as smart.
The video describes mistakes when communicating on social networks with a girl:
