What to write to a girl when meeting her - the most striking and successful examples

Internet

15.07.20191825

Using the social network VKontakte is not only about listening to music, chatting in groups and exciting attempts to find a person by mobile phone number in order to approach him. The owner of the account, who knows how to communicate pleasantly and has intelligence, can easily meet a girl here, and then start dating in real life. Let’s try to figure out how to interest the person you like.

How to start a conversation with a girl on VKontakte

Original greeting in the first message

A greeting can be chosen without much difficulty, but an original one has a better chance of getting a response. The banal phrase “Hi, how are you?” most girls do not have any enthusiasm. An exception may be the case when you have a really interesting page, a lot of photos that can attract many Internet users without further ado. Otherwise, it is better to show resourcefulness. For example, you could write: “Hi! Finally I found you! Then you can clarify why this fact inspired you (compliment some aspect of her personality, appearance). You can also immediately show a serious attitude: “Hello! You are very interesting! Would you like to take a walk and get to know each other?” Of course, a rare girl will immediately agree to a meeting, but, for sure, it will be noted that you are not writing with the goal of simply “chatting on the Internet,” but have real intentions for a meeting.

What to talk about with a stranger you like

It will be best if you start a conversation about the girl herself. Show interest in her person, ask a few questions, give compliments, comment on some of her photos (not under the pictures themselves, but in personal messages, so that you can definitely count on a response).

What can you ask during correspondence to get to know her better?

Ask what she does - work, study or something else. Find out if she has any hobbies, what places in your city she likes, where she would like to visit (both in your city and in any other).

Questions that should not be asked in an SMS letter

You should not be actively interested in her personal life at the first stages of correspondence. Often information about the presence or absence of a lover can be found on the girl’s personal page. In any case, if the interlocutor answers you willingly and is clearly interested in dialogue, then you hardly need to worry. Be that as it may, the first meeting or refusal of it will clarify everything. Of course, you shouldn’t ask those questions that, in principle, are quite tactless, if people are not close - about the amount of wages, about the availability of property, and the like.

What interesting things to tell about yourself to impress her?

Tell us about your achievements - perhaps you have them in sports or career. It is possible that you are interested in some hobby - this may also interest her. If you don’t have any special hobbies, then it makes sense to find them! This way you will increase your chances of being an interesting conversationalist, and in general, a new step in self-development will never be superfluous.

What to write to make her feel good and make her smile

Most girls love compliments, and, of course, they help lift their mood. It is important that they are not trivial! She, of course, will be pleased to read that she has “beautiful eyes,” “a gorgeous figure,” and the like, but it’s better if you really pay attention to her features. Example: “You have such an unusual eye color, it looks like amber” (appropriate for light brown eyes).

Examples of messages when dating

Let's look at a few examples of messages at the initial stages of dating: “You have a very cool playlist, I “stole” several masterpieces from you,” “Add new photos more often, it’s nice to look at you!” etc.

Rules for online communication. Guide for Dummies

Before you start communicating directly, you should determine the goals of the upcoming acquaintance. Are you bored and just want to chat virtually? Do you need a friend who shares your interests? Are you looking for a nice girl for rare romantic meetings with intimate continuation? Or do you dream of starting a family and are looking for one that will follow the same path with you for many years? Agree in each of these cases, communication will follow its own laws.

We recommend: What is Caps on VKontakte

However, there are some fundamental principles that apply to all online dating.

Be positive! Girls love humor, but hate sarcasm. Therefore, kind jokes, emoticons and funny stories will encourage your interlocutor to communicate more closely. Forget dramatic stories and sarcastic statements for now.
Write correctly. Not all modern girls are dolls with silicone lips. And this is not the kind of friend you dream of, right? If you are looking for a smart, well-read and interesting girl, follow the rules of the Russian language, carefully re-read your messages and correct all mistakes made.
Be polite. Communication in the virtual world does not cancel the rules of polite tone. At the beginning of the dialogue you need to say hello, and at the end you need to say goodbye. The absence of swear words and familiarity is a huge plus for your karma!
Keep it intriguing. Many pickup forums recommend constantly changing your communication tactics. For example, the “Closer - Farther” technique. It consists of first getting the girl as interested as possible, winning her over, and then disappearing from the network for a couple of days. This will keep your interlocutor in good shape and will force her to seek communication with you.
Be different. Try on new looks and surprise your girlfriend. Show off your brutality, and then write a romantic poem for the beauty. Or in conversation, mention that you were into dancing. Believe me, the girl will be delighted!
Ask questions. Psychologists say that a person is more interested in the interlocutor who is interested in him. Therefore, ask the girl about her interests and hobbies, let her talk about her family, work, and studies. Pets are also an excellent topic for confidential dialogue. Experiment and get as close as possible to your lady love.
Send text messages. VKontakte conversations are just great! But your goal is to move communication into the real world as soon as possible. The ideal transition option is SMS messages that allow you to stay in touch all day long.

How to interest a girl you like

Comment on her personal photos or like her

If a girl posts photos on her page on a social network, then it is obvious that she wants them to be noticed and appreciated. Regularly tag photos in which she is present. To avoid the impression that you like everything, mark neutral pictures selectively, but do not deprive them of attention to those where she is present. Also, some photos should be commented on - especially those that she puts on her profile picture. For example, in VK it is absolutely not necessary to leave verbal comments of the same type under a photo. Instead of words, you can easily attach some cute GIF that expresses your delight or a musical composition that hints at your train of thought.

Compliments about your favorite music on her page

Let's start correspondence

Most acquaintances on a social network occur through correspondence. Through messages, you can show sympathy and carefully consider the dialogue, unlike real-life communication.

First, greet the person you like. Even the banal phrase “Hi, how are you?” could be the start of an interesting acquaintance. If a young man is open to communication, then correspondence will not pose a big problem or puzzle. The beginning of the correspondence can be a funny joke or picture. If you take the initiative and he likes you, the guy himself will ask counter questions. This will be the beginning of correspondence. The most important thing in correspondence is to show wit, be light and relaxed.

Article on the topic: how to start a conversation with a guy.

How to complete the first communication-acquaintance so that there is a desire to communicate in the future

The main rule: do not delay the first communication, trying to find out everything possible about your interlocutor and “load” her with a lot of information about yourself. Let the girl have at least some space for thoughts and guesses about you. It is important to show that you are interested in her, but you should not write yourself down as a crazy admirer who almost has a wedge of light on a new acquaintance. These guys quickly end up in the friend zone. After talking a little with the girl and arousing reciprocal interest, write that, unfortunately, you need to leave the Internet, but you hope for further communication. It's better to mention that you're currently going for a workout, a bike ride, going to a water park with friends, or something like that. This way, the girl will get it in her mind that something interesting is going to happen to you now, and, probably, in this case, you yourself are quite an interesting person, and she won’t get bored with you.

If you notice that there is clearly mutual sympathy on the part of your interlocutor, then it would not be a bad idea to ask her for her phone number. If she does write it to you, be sure that she is considering the possibility of meeting you, and if you begin to delay this event, then her interest may fade. Also, do not be upset if the interlocutor does not give the number, arguing that she would like to first get to know you better through correspondence or something like that. For many girls this is really important.

What does his profile say?

Having stopped your attention on the guy’s page you like, you should study it carefully. Photos and other images need to be assessed first. They can say a lot about his tastes and lifestyle: an avid traveler, an enthusiastic collector, a clubber or a football fan. This information will be useful in the future.

Some of the pictures are worth commenting and evaluating. He will notice the activity and can get in touch himself to thank or give a mutual like.

You should also pay attention to your favorite books, films and music. The column “Life position” can also say a lot about a potential gentleman: his attitude towards bad habits, the preferred qualities of others, his goal in life.

If there are a lot of posts on a profile on a particular topic, then most likely this is his hobby. It’s worth taking note, but there’s no need to pretend to be a guru in this area. It is better to arm yourself with basic knowledge and show genuine interest.

How often should you write to her?

If she's online all the time

In this case, as in others, it is important not to be intrusive. If you are not one hundred percent sure that a girl is on VK solely for the sake of communicating with you, then you do not need to constantly write messages to her. Please note that she may not be online for the sake of dialogue at all - perhaps she is simply listening to music, reading information that interests her in a group. It's easy to check. Write a message and wait for a response. If there is no answer, then you should not write after: “Are you ignoring me?”, “Hey, why don’t you answer?”, “Aw!” etc. This can be very annoying! The exception is a question of primary importance that requires an answer within a few minutes, and at the same time you have no other way to contact the interlocutor. Note that such a case is quite rare or does not happen at all.

If you want to get a response to your message, then make sure that it has at least some content. Some guys can write in response to a joke: “Ha-ha!”, and wait for a response from the interlocutor. At the same time, many girls do not at all think that they need to respond to this. Subsequently, the guy may even be offended by such “inattention.” If you recognize yourself in such a scheme, then try to get rid of the habit of “artificially maintaining a dialogue.” You need to correspond with interest, and not play ping-pong with meaningless phrases, emoticons, etc. Many girls gradually get tired of such communication and try to avoid it.

If she hardly surfs the Internet

If a girl rarely uses VK or another social network, then, of course, even if you want, you will not have time to tire her with your messages. However, this feature of the girl reveals a certain trait of her character. Apparently, she has little interest in virtual communication or does not consider it something significant and serious. Then you shouldn’t expect much development in this direction. This suggests that you should transfer communication with your interlocutor to a different format - ask for a phone number or arrange a real meeting.

Is it possible to meet on social networks?

Social networks were originally created for people to communicate with each other. At first they were designed for communication in certain circles of like-minded people (Facebook and VKontakte), but the idea turned out to be successful, and today the whole world chats on various networks.

Dating on the Internet has the undeniable advantage that it allows you to find out details about a person and makes it possible to think through a behavioral strategy for developing relationships.

READ What you can talk about with a girl on VK: examples of dialogue

What to do if a girl doesn't respond to messages

First, try to determine why this might be happening. We propose to consider several possible options for such behavior.

1. She doesn't have time

Perhaps she needs VK exclusively for business communication, and she simply does not have time to communicate with friends and acquaintances. However, if so, then the girl will most likely tell you about it.

2. She is not interested in talking to you.

Alas, a similar option cannot be ruled out, and there may be many reasons for it. Maybe she was not very interested in you initially, and over time you were unable to change this situation. It is also possible that at first she considered you as a serious admirer and had some far-reaching plans, but for some reason you were unable to maintain her interest.

3. She is passionate about others

Many girls prefer not to waste time communicating with several young men at once, and focus their attention on one chosen one. If a girl is seriously passionate about another person, then most likely she will answer you quite rarely and in monosyllables, and perhaps she will not see the point in further communication at all. Of course, it may also be that she will soon lose interest in another object of sympathy and turn her attention to you. Girls are often very vulnerable when breaking up with young men, and often try to drown out their disappointment by communicating with another guy - it is quite possible that it will be you.

4. She's offended

Think about whether the reason for your interlocutor’s cooling could be that she is offended by something. Analyze your last correspondence with her. Were there any tactless jokes on your part, inappropriate questions, incorrect remarks, unnecessary information about another person? Perhaps, based on some direct or indirect signs, the girl concluded that you are interested in another person.

5. You are too intrusive

It is possible that the interlocutor is not delighted with the style of communication you set. Consider whether you are being too intrusive. This option is likely if your message is much larger, if the girl does not ask you any questions to support the dialogue, if she does not write first, does not read your messages for a long time (being on the Internet), and tries to give monosyllabic answers that do not imply further development of the dialogue .

Having determined the reason for the girl’s silence, act based on this information. If you understand that a girl is not interested in you, then showing resentment or an abundance of additional messages will not change the situation. You need to get her interested in other methods. Gradually stop writing to her (she will probably notice the missing fan), and do something really interesting. You can visit beautiful places or unusual establishments by posting a kind of photo report on VK, you can also find an exciting hobby and also demonstrate its fruits to your friends online. The main thing is that this is not a “one-time event”. Fill your news feed with interesting events and you will attract the attention of not only this girl, but many others as well. Please note that some girls, even with a high degree of interest, do not write to guys first, especially after a long pause in communication. After the described personal changes, write to the girl yourself, simply asking how she is doing. Based on her answers, you will understand whether she has become interested in you. If this does not happen, then it is better to pay attention to another person.

Also, in order not to get lost in senseless guesses, you can directly ask the girl why she doesn’t answer you. There is a high probability that she will give you a sincere answer to this question.

What to do first

As a first step to making friends on the Internet, you should determine what type of young lady is most promising for dating on social networks. In accordance with the desired image, you need to think through and create a type for yourself. The advice given below does not apply to girls who want to have a man to ensure their financial needs. Such young people exist in all strata of society, and to communicate with them you only need to invest money in joint escapades.

If you want to meet a glamorous girl on VK, you need to create the image of a wealthy young man who can afford to waste money. You should not overdo it in this matter if your financial capabilities do not allow you to hang out in clubs all night long. Communication with a financially secure girl will require a decent amount of money.

A young lady who earns her living independently will be lenient towards the young man’s financial situation. In this case, the image of a “hard-working guy” is created. The young man studies, works, and manages to participate in additional activities.

READ What to tell a girl about yourself to interest her and not get into an awkward situation

To closely communicate with other ladies, you need to determine their favorite activity, if necessary, modify it to suit male interest, and start a conversation on a topic that interests the girl.

Avatar design

The profile avatar is an important detail of the image. No matter how they say that appearance is not the main thing, a modern girl will not date a young man whose appearance does not suit her. You should post your own photo, no matter how much you would like to use a photo of a handsome stranger. Someone else's cute face in their profile may increase their chances of getting a first date, but it may also provoke a complete breakup.

In some cases, it is allowed to use other photos as an avatar. Stills from films and anime, recognizable actors are acceptable, especially if the future girlfriend likes this frame, actor or anime. It should be clarified that with such an avatar, the presence of real photographs of the young man in the albums is mandatory. The avatar can tell you how to start dating the girl you like. You can write her a message on behalf of her favorite hero, calling her the name of the heroine. In correspondence it might look something like this:

“Oh, beautiful Guinevere! Sir Lancelot lays down his sword at your feet."

Check your photos

Before getting a girl to like you on VK during correspondence, you need to put your virtual photo album in order:

Pictures with themes of cruelty, rough sex, and violence should be removed. Those that may be taken as a call for justice are allowed with reservation. For example, the demotivator “I am against...”.
When posting political photographs, especially cartoons, on your profile, you must remember that girls with strong political views may not agree to communicate with a person with different beliefs. Fortunately, modern young ladies are most often indifferent to politics.
You can leave photos with the theme of hunting prey, but in this way part of the female audience will be lost, although perhaps another part will be more interested.
Photos of various hikes will be a winning option, although even then some young ladies will not like the idea of spending their free time in the future around fires and in tents.
A young man who is interested in esotericism also arouses increased interest among some girls and mistrust among others. Therefore, we must remember that on VK you can meet a girl who has completely opposite views.
Sports achievements will be a win-win option, especially if the young man has a good physique.
Photos with alcohol may cause hostility, but they can also show that the guy knows how to have fun. The reaction depends on what kind of relationship your friend has with alcohol.
Selfies from other countries, against the backdrop of an expensive car or a large country house, indicate the financial viability of a young man, which is very attractive to girls.

Clear news feed

Before you go looking for a girlfriend on the Internet, you need to remove from your news feed those messages that may provoke a reluctance to meet each other and start communicating. What news you might not like should be determined based on your friend’s tastes. The general rules remain the same - scenes of violence, vulgarity, and overtly sexual references can leave an unpleasant impression on your profile, so it is better to delete them.

Where to find girls on VK

Young people on social networks and, accordingly, on VKontakte, join interest groups. You can look for pleasant communication in communities designed for dating, you can conduct a thorough search in your groups. Both methods have advantages and disadvantages.

READ How to find a girl: goal, attitude, places and some pickup secrets

VKontakte has four dating applications. All of them allow you to enter into correspondence after evaluating photos. Unfortunately, some participants are inappropriate, displaying other people’s photos and false ages. In addition, without having anything other than a photograph, it is difficult to figure out what to talk about with a girl when meeting her through Topface or photo flirting.

Trying to make friends in interest groups is much more promising. People sign up there to find out news about their hobbies, so they don't need to pretend to be someone else. Here you can take a closer look at the person and decide what to write to the girl.

Groups

Dating communities bring together young women without taking into account their interests. Finding among them people who have common hobbies with a young man is not easy.

Thematic communities do not weed out ladies with an organized personal life, which means there is a risk of wasting time. If you want to make friends with a girl on VK through a group (for example, there are strict requirements for a hobby), you will have to examine the profiles of all suitable participants.

Applications

To choose a girlfriend, you can use various applications and games. When communicating during the game, you can evaluate your friend by the way she speaks. Her intelligence, sense of humor, level of education are important when deciding to organize a meeting.

There, in the game, a young man can demonstrate his virtues, talk about himself, his plans, dreams. In this case, the girlfriend will respond favorably to him when going to private messages, especially if they had intensive correspondence in the game.

Why doesn't the girl text first?

Many guys pay attention to the fact that some girls prefer not to start a dialogue, but only respond to their initiative. It is important to understand that this is not always a sign of low interest in the interlocutor. It just so happens that a significant number of girls are convinced that it is almost bad form to write to a young man first. What arguments do they use for this?

"Respectable girls don't chase boys."

Often this is the attitude that many mothers instill in their daughters from childhood. Relying on their experience, which often corresponds to reality, young women explain to girls that young people often do not appreciate people who “go into their own hands” and “hang themselves on their necks.” Also, from a young age, girls hear the statement that “men by nature are hunters,” which means that they can only be truly attracted to something that still needs to be fought for. It is for this reason that some girls not only do not write to young people first, but also do not call them, do not initiate meetings, and the like. They are simply afraid, thus, of losing the interest of the chosen one. If this is really the case, then she will probably react quickly when your initiative is shown.

She doesn't like you.

As sad as it may be, this option is quite possible. The girl didn’t see you as a potential boyfriend, and therefore simply sees no reason not only to initiate some kind of communication on her own, but sometimes she supports it rather sluggishly. It is possible that she initially indicated her attitude towards you, but you continue to be persistent, but it may also be that out of politeness or for some other reasons you do not clarify this point, believing that you will figure it out yourself.

She doesn't want to be in the crowd.

The girl assumes that you already have enough pen pals without her, and it’s unlikely that she stands out as something special to you. Most girls want to feel “chosen” and do not agree to the role of “extras”. It is quite possible that she is mistaken, and you do not have an abundance of interlocutors, but this does not change the essence - she really believes that you already have someone to communicate with, and she does not plan to sit on the “spare bench”. It is possible that you yourself created the appearance of your popularity. This spurs some people, but there are also those who, on the contrary, are “slowed down” by this state of affairs.

Humiliation.

Surely, many guys will find this strange and stupid, but some people actually believe that writing to a young man first is something akin to humiliation. It is difficult to say where such thoughts come from in the head of this or that person. Most often they are dictated by negative experiences previously experienced with another guy. Perhaps the girl often wrote to someone, showed obvious interest, and ended up being humiliated in some way. Girls who feel this way about taking initiative are rare, but they still happen.

Resentment.

If before the girl still periodically initiated a dialogue with you, but gradually this faded away, then there is a high probability that she is simply offended by you for something. Surely, you can guess for yourself what could be the reason for the offense - to do this, read the latest correspondence or ask the question directly.

Considers herself obsessive.

Perhaps, before, the girl often wrote to you first and gradually she began to get tired of this state of affairs. She felt that she was being too intrusive towards you and did not see enough interest on your part. Not wanting to look in an unattractive light anymore, she decided not to initiate communication anymore, and thus test your true attitude towards her.

You're not her type.

She may like you as a person and as a friend, but she doesn’t want to give you extra hope for a possible relationship. Many girls have their own idea in their minds about what their ideal chosen one should be, and they try not to deviate from the intended “course”.

Be that as it may, at the initial stage, do not focus the girl’s attention on the fact that you do not like her lack of initiative. Until you become her boyfriend or potential boyfriend, you don't have much value to her, so such claims will most likely only push her away. Just let her know that you always look forward to messages from her, and you are pleased when she writes to you. Subsequently, if the relationship reaches a serious level, then, of course, it makes sense to raise this topic and find out the reasons for the lack of initiative.

How to take initiative

There are quite a lot of ways to start communicating with a guy on VK, besides mutual likes and comments. For example, you can “knock” on your friends in an original way, adding a funny or intriguing message to your request. Usually young people are very willing to add girls as friends. The likelihood of failure is minimal if the profile is properly designed.

When leaving likes and comments on posts of a candidate for cavalier, you need to do it correctly. Automatically putting hearts under each post or commenting familiarly on photos are wrong strategies. You only need to react to what you like.

Another method of dating on a social network is joining the same groups with a guy. To do this, you need to study the list of publics and communities in which he is a member. Of these, you should choose only those where the interests of both parties intersect. In the community, it is worth joining the discussion in which the object is participating. Subsequently, correspondence within the public will smoothly transition to a private format.

Pickup phrases and topics for meeting a girl on the Internet

If you want to hook a girl by correspondence “at the start” of your communication, you can use some of the phrases below.

"I like you! And I like you, do you want to prove it?” — after that, bring the girl to a personal meeting.
“I can’t understand – are you really so beautiful or is it still photoshopped? Just kidding, you can’t create something like this with Photoshop” - after that you develop the topic, describing what impressed you about the girl.
“Finally, I found my muse! Whether you like it or not, you will be my inspiration,” such a passage will certainly be appreciated by the potential interlocutor.