What does engagement mean?
It is enough to hear this phrase, and images from Western, often American films immediately flash before your eyes: a table in a restaurant, glasses of champagne, a red velvet box in the hands of a timid man and an elegant woman’s finger in a diamond shine.
A declaration of love, a marriage proposal, an agreement to get married is what makes two people the bride and groom in their own happy eyes.
But in order to share this happiness with family and friends, in order to gain the full right to be called the bride and groom and to begin counting down the unforgettable days of preparation for the wedding by an already recognized couple, an engagement is arranged - a solemn event, with deep historical and even mystical roots. In essence, by announcing our decision, “spreading the word about it,” those intending to get married are declaring: we are serious in our intention to become husband and wife!
The custom of announcing an engagement through a newspaper or other printed publication, accepted in some foreign countries, has not yet taken root in our country, or, more precisely, has been completely forgotten.
You can, of course, send letters or postcards to all interested parties. Even SMS messages, as the most common method of youth communication, can spread this message. But a traditional and always pleasant way to inform family and friends about the impending change in your matrimonial status is a celebratory dinner or engagement reception.
Following customs, it is customary to appoint it after an application has been submitted to the registry office, and the parents on both sides have already recovered from the news received and have given their formal consent. To the engagement, the future spouses invite those whom they would like to inform about the upcoming event, but they are especially happy to those who are close and dear to them, but for some reason will not be able to attend the wedding.
Here are some stones - talismans corresponding to the signs of the Zodiac:
- Pisces (20.02 - 20.03) - amethyst, pearls, agate, rock crystal.
- Aries (21.03 - 20.04) - jasper, amethyst, aventurine, all red stones.
- Taurus (21.04 - 21.05) - agate, turquoise, onyx, all white and transparent stones.
- Gemini (22.05 - 21.06) - agate, carnelian, all variegated stones.
- Cancer (22.06 - 22.07) - pearls, peridot, jasper, cat's eye.
- Leo (23.07 - 22.08) - jasper, agate, amber, garnet.
- Virgo (23.08 - 23.09) - carnelian, jade, peridot, agate.
- Libra (September 24 - October 23) - lapis lazuli, moonstone, carnelian.
- Scorpio (10.24 - 11.22) - garnet, agate, jasper, sand-colored stones.
- Sagittarius (11.23 - 12.21) - turquoise, amethyst, onyx, all green stones.
- Capricorn (December 22 - January 20) - onyx, agate, amethyst, ganate.
- Aquarius (December 21 - February 19) - lapis lazuli, turquoise, garnet, carnelian, agate.
- In addition, almost all zodiac signs are suitable for rock crystal.
Nowhere is it strictly stipulated in which place you can and should celebrate your engagement; choose the option according to your taste and wallet. However, ancient custom prescribes it to be held in the bride's house.
Guests usually know perfectly well why they are invited, but it is considered polite to hide their sadness and joy until the solemn moment when the father or close relative of the bride announces the engagement.
If you follow traditions literally, then at this very moment, and not earlier, the groom necessarily presents and the bride accepts the ring, which is another confirmation that she has accepted the proposal to marry.
Diamond rings are considered the most “correct” for engagement, which is why they adorn the fingers of most engaged brides, causing admiration (and sometimes other, much less sympathetic feelings) of their friends.
But there are also exceptions. If the bride and groom are inclined towards originality and love horoscopes, then their choice may be much wider!
It is imperative to return such a family heirloom ring in the event of a dissolution of engagement!
However, the same applies to any engagement ring. Keeping it for yourself after you are no longer the bride and groom is bad form. The only thing worse can be the groom’s desire to save money and keep the ring returned by the bride for the next chosen one.
So, the engagement took place. Relatives and friends are notified of the upcoming happy event in your life.
Now they can discuss its details, discuss possible wedding gifts for the couple and their feasible participation in the preparatory efforts.
Families decide on the composition and number of guests, the location of the wedding, and agree on possible financial support for the future newlyweds at the beginning of their married life...
But in fact, the period from the day of engagement to the wedding, for which the registry office allots two months and which many strive to reduce to the bare minimum, is an exciting, interesting, but also difficult time for the bride and groom.
In their first common task - preparing for the wedding - their future married life undergoes a preliminary test.
It's time to start showing your readiness to solve problems, find out how high the level of your mutual understanding and trust is, how ready you are to accept each other's habits and shortcomings.
The engagement period should help future spouses become closer, look at each other under different, not exclusively romantic circumstances, and, ultimately, mentally prepare for accepting another person into their personal lives.
We must perceive this time as an excellent chance for both the groom and the bride to think carefully again and again about whether they are ready to part with freedom and begin to build a family nest together.
Perhaps this is the best time to prepare and sign a marriage contract.
Unfortunately, not everyone is able to survive these first difficulties. And as a result - the engagement is broken. No matter how sad it may be, it is not a scam. Accept it as calmly and calmly as possible, and try to make your separation worthy.
But, one way or another, many elements and actions accompanying the engagement, for example, meeting and communicating with families, joint efforts, organizing a celebration, few people bypass. So why not make this exciting event and the time that follows it pleasant, memorable and even festive for the two of you and for the people who love you?
Source: https://www.SalonFleur.ru/interesnoe/pomolvka/chto-znachit-pomolvka/
Relationship culture: what does it mean to be engaged?
Matchmaking, engagement and wedding are wonderful, beautiful rituals that have come to us from time immemorial. Each nation has its own character. However, there is also something in common.
Tili-tili-dough
So what does it mean to be engaged? When a couple of lovers decides that they are perfect for each other, and therefore the relationship can be formalized, they inform their family, friends, and friends. Or - this was the case, for example, in the 19th century - a young man asks his parents for their daughter’s hand in marriage and receives consent.
Engagement: why is it needed and is it necessary? – All about the wedding
Engagement is a beautiful ceremony when a couple in love declares themselves husband and wife. On this day, the groom asks the girl for her hand in marriage from herself or her parents. Let's look at engagement from several perspectives.
If you go back a hundred years, in those days engagement was a mandatory rite of passage that was part of every wedding cycle. The young people went to bow to their parents to ask for blessings for marriage. After this, the parents discussed all the conditions for the future marriage and began to prepare for the wedding.
And the fathers of the young sealed the future union with the help of the hand-clasping ritual. After this, the future marriage became a foregone conclusion, and it was no longer possible to refuse it. The engagement ring, which the groom places on the bride's hand, is usually worn until the wedding day, after which she takes it off and keeps it like the apple of her eye.
And subsequently passes it on to his children and grandchildren. True, in fairness, it is worth noting that there were facts of a broken engagement.
At the same time, anyone who refused to marry for any reason had to pay a considerable compensation as compensation for damages for the dishonor caused to the family.
Engagement deserves special attention these days. Most people are familiar with it from foreign films where the Catholic Church rules. In general, the ritual has remained virtually unchanged. The groom also asks for the hand of his beloved girl.
The only difference is that today the engagement is carried out on a voluntary basis, and the engagement itself is no longer a prerequisite for the wedding. Today, it is not so common to find couples who consciously go into engagement, truly understanding its original essence.
Most often, one is attracted by the fact of a beautiful ceremony. So, what does engagement look like today?
How things are these days
Oddly enough, today the meaning that young people attach to the engagement ceremony is not always the same. And today there are at least three views, which, despite their general similarity, are still slightly different and have their own characteristics.
Now the day of engagement is considered to be the day of filing an application to the registry office. This is such a semi-official ceremony. On the one hand, after the future husband and wife submit an application to the registry office, they are already connected by certain ties. Indeed, everyone already has a kind of still translucent stamp on them, indicating that this person is no longer free.
Most often, if an application is submitted to the registry office, it means that people have thought about and decided on everything a long time ago, and the prospect of spending their remaining days together in wealth and poverty, health and illness, happiness and sorrow, does not frighten them at all. But, nevertheless, they are given at least a month to reconsider their decision.
During this month, the application can be withdrawn if suddenly one of them realized that they were not ready for such a decisive marriage. We do not consider the option of simply not coming to the wedding or running away from the wedding, although, in essence, this is the same break in the engagement, only more radical.
If you take a moment away from modernity and look into the past, you can understand that submitting an application to the registry office is not exactly what was originally meant by the word “engagement”.
As it was in ancient times...
Initially, betrothal, or betrothal, is an ancient Christian custom described in the Bible. It precedes the wedding and is, in fact, a pre-nuptial ceremony, after which young people have the right to be called “bride” and “groom” in relation to each other. This begs the question: what does “engaged” mean in the culture of our ancestors? An engagement was a formal agreement made between the future newlyweds and their parents. At the same time, the bride's father gave a gift to the newlyweds (dowry), the groom - to his future wife, and the future father-in-law and mother-in-law received a ransom (veno) at this stage. And if modern girls ask the question: “Does it guarantee that if I set the status to “engaged” that I will mean more to my boyfriend and that he will treat me better?”, then our grandmothers, after getting engaged, began a completely different life. Betrothal is believed to provide social security for women. After this ritual, the future spouses were already considered a young family, but at the same time they were not supposed to enter into intimacy.
What is engagement: rules and traditions
A beautiful and significant engagement ceremony, otherwise known as conspiracy, was the most important pre-wedding custom in Rus'. Modern engagement in Russia has practically nothing in common with the ancient procedure, but the meaning of this action has remained unchanged.
Several centuries ago, a betrothal ceremony was held in the church, which was essentially an engagement in the modern sense and was separated by a time interval from the wedding. Nowadays betrothal and wedding in the Orthodox Church are held simultaneously.
What does engagement mean for newlyweds?
Engagement means declaring the future spouses as bride and groom, proclaiming their mutual consent to marry.
Currently, engagement among Russians occurs when the bride and groom jointly submit an application to the registry office.
It is needed so that future newlyweds have time to make sure that their decision is correct and thoroughly prepare for a large-scale wedding celebration.
According to the law, marriage registration is carried out after a month from the date of filing a joint application. In exceptional cases, registration may take place earlier than a month later.
In fact, most registry offices are overloaded with the number of registered couples, so applications sometimes begin to be accepted a month and a half or two months in advance. In such cases, it is better to clarify the specifics of the procedure at a specific registry office.
Of course, for modern newlyweds, filing an application is almost indisputable evidence that the wedding will take place. And the time from engagement to wedding for them is the time of preparation for the celebration, associated with a lot of wedding troubles.
How to treat the engagement ceremony - to celebrate it as an important event or to ignore it - is a personal choice of the bride and groom. It has no legal force and, in fact, is a formality. But in any case, the moment of submitting an application to the registry office is an event that confirms the seriousness of the young people’s intentions. Why not celebrate this event beautifully with your closest people?
Church betrothal ceremony
The betrothal ceremony itself is not described in detail in the Holy Scriptures. For this reason, it varies somewhat in churches of different denominations and regions. But if you are a deeply religious person, want to know what “engaged” means from a religious point of view, and are planning to get engaged to your loved one, you should start by visiting the church that you are used to attending. This issue will be resolved individually. First, the priest will talk with the future newlyweds, and then he will talk about how the engagement will go and help prepare for this serious event. However, keep in mind that this is a very serious step, and if you decide to take it, you won’t be able to simply change your mind and change your decision in the future. After all, there is only one answer to the question of what “engaged in church” means: they promised to become husband and wife not only to each other and to a crowd of relatives and friends, but also to the Almighty.
